THE DAILYP will return MONDAY, FEBRUARY 22, 2010

LOOK FOR ME @ OUR NEW ONLINE ADDY:

thedailypisser.com

Monday's blog: The BANKing of AMERICA

***NEWS FLASH!!!!

DIS IS YO MAMA is now officially going to be: DIS IS YO GRAMMA!!!! I'm ecstatic! Congrats, S&J! Love you!

IT'S A NO BRAINER TODAY!

*TO ACCESS TODAY'S TITLE BLOG, CLICK ON THE DATE'S ARCHIVE LINK!

*TO ACCESS COMMENTS:
Just click on the title of the blog you'd like to comment on and the comment screen will appear!
*TO ACCESS VOTING, DO THE SAME! Thanks!
**ALL PRIZES in the Bissell Pet Contest are donated to charity
EXCEPT for a $500 Gift Card given to the PET OWNERS.

FAMILY HOLIDAYS 2009

FAMILY HOLIDAYS 2009
Jordan, Stephanie, me, Brian

CURRENT ISSUES and IDIOTS SLICED & DICED!

What pissed U off today?

Thursday, December 31, 2009

YEAR of the TIGER

The Big G has such a hilarious sense of humor and irony sometimes. Here we are, nigh on 2010, and according to the Chinese calendar, the Year of the Tiger! Ain't that the truth! No doubt, we have a kazillion Tiger headlines to anticipate this year. Much to Mr. Woods chagrin, I'm sure and Elin's embarrassment and dismay!
It never ceases to amaze me how a man who is virtually 'king of the world' will risk losing everything through the simple act of unbuttoning his fly! I guess there's a reason that the old adage of 'thinking with one's penis' is bandied about so often! Especially this year, time and again the headlines have reminded us that having fame, power, talent & wealth are no counterbalance to a 'lustful' heart. Just ask Jimmy about that one!
Too often, though, the media conveniently forget there are REAL people and families involved here. Once again, little lives being scarred and hearts being broken. I'm sure those two beautiful little kids will be so proud when they come to understand that, along with Dad's other 'sterling' accomplishments, he also had a mistress in every golf bag! I wonder if they give trophies to 'Golfer with the Most Puttz Sunk'?
But personally, none of these 'screamlines' ever really surprise ME. Having been an escort in downtown Chicago for ten and a half years, I saw these same yahoos walk through my door everyday. Though there is something to be said for nature and the effort to fight off instinctually inbred genetics, why some man would lay everything he's worked so hard his whole life for on the line JUST TO GET LAID is still a concept beyond my own grasp.
My empathy lies with the innocents who must stand by while the sh*t hits the fan, through probably no fault of their own. What could the itty bitties possibly have done to deserve a childhood memory such as this? Nothing, I'm sure, but love their Dad. And this is how he rewards them?!
So, here's to you, Tiger! May the Chinese stay true in their ancient wisdom and show you more kindess in the coming year than you showed your own family. I'm sure you're gonna need it!

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

REALITY PARENTING

Is not REAL parenting, people! Watching someone else's family implode WITH YOUR HELP is not going to repair your OWN familial dysfunctions! If it IS making you feel better about your home life than I recommend you start saving for a BETTER therapist!
Evidently, Big Brother learned nothing from the Loudon's (look it up!). And given that Hollywood's taste for chewing up and shredding young wannabes has not waned since the 70's, parading your families inner most secrets on national TV has now become a NATIONAL PASTIME!
STOP CARING about Jon & Kate's hapless escapades of mismatched souls, being recorded for posterity for their unfortunate children. And while 8 young little lives are forever scarred by parents who are too vain and greedy to BE real parents, the rest of you dysfuns thrill in the ride. It's not an amusement park, peeps, it's 8 little futures.
But I think that point was made with an exclamation by 'ROC(ksinmyhead)TOMOM'! When did this country start producing young women who think the Hollywood road is paved by bottles and babies? When some lamebrain in Hwood decided he could cash in on our growing downward social spiral, that's when. Thank the Big G that the media decided it wasn't gonna be the one to TAKE the screwing and backed off that bad, bloated belly!
And I'm really tired of right wingers, who while pretending to espouse family values, i.e., Sarie from Alaskie, are REALLY doing things like fighting in court to keep a father from his son. Hey, Sarah, maybe if you'd taken a little more time with your OWN family you wouldn't be in this mess now, ya think?
So back off the remotes, peeps and spend some time with the kids watching Discovery or the History Channel. The whole family might just learn something.

P.S. To the reader who called me, in so many words, a blowhard: I'll go up against Sarie with my 357 anyday, bud! My family has 2800 acres in the UP. Any takers, eh?

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Saving the Private Polanski

In keeping with this week's theme, I would like to now offer my opinion on the other side of the coin of child abuse: allegations made for personal gain or profit.
Yes, I'm talking about the mess that fellow Polack Roman Polanski has been in for the last 30 odd years. Why won't this thing die a natural death? I'll tell you why: it STILL generates headlines and consequently, dollars, for the rag mags.
Not that I'm condoning what the man had done, not by any means. But put yourself in his shoes at that time, with visions of Sharon's pregnant body hanging from the rafters and Charlie haunting his nightmares and who knows? You could have been with that 13 year old too, perhaps?
And speaking of that 13 year old: WHERE WERE HER PARENTS? How does one that young get into a situation like that? My guess is lack of parental supervision.
But it is time for ALL the rest of us to stop speculation of past trespasses. The girl has agreed that yes, he did her wrong, but no, I'm not amenable to pressing this matter any further. So, why doesn't the judicial system and the public leave poor old Roman to his private hell and move on? I think he's suffered enough already, don't you?

Monday, December 28, 2009

Looking Forward to 2010!

After yesterday's blog, I decided to review my 'bucket' list for 2009, to see what I had accomplished during this past year and begin my New Year's Resolutions list for 2010. Following is a compilation of some of my achievements in 2009:

1. Remain unemployed because the economy still sucks and I'm old.CHECK
2. Stress myself out everyday wondering if I'll have a roof over my head tomorrow.CHECK
3. Decide between ramen or buttered toast for dinner. CHECK
4. Pay the power bill + keep my fingers crossed they don't shut off the Dish til NEXT month.CHECK.
5. Buy dog and cat food while I eat out of cans.CHECK
6. Feel sorry for myself and ponder ending it all.CHECK
7. Put myself in Big G's hands because they'll never pass a health care bill that helps ME.CHECK
8. Become the 'perfect woman' because my teeth are BAD and I don't have dental. CHECK (Rednecks will get this).
9. Wonder if I'll EVER have grandchildren. CHECK (Hi! kids).
10.Take another beating because I'm a DIE HARD Cubs, Bears & USC fan. CHECK, CHECK & CHECK!

So, now that I'm feeling so 'accomplished', I will also share with you my 'bucket' list for 2010. I've decided I'm not gettin' any younger and 2010 is such a nice, round number, sooo far away from 1954 that it's frightening, so like I said before: damn the torpedoes! FULL STEAM AHEAD IN 2010!
1. Rock my blog to the top of the media 'heap' . If you check today's Google listing, you'll find that TheDailyP has been hijacked by none other than RHIANNA! Unfortunately, if you click the link it takes you nowhere! Speculation has it that it's a Big G insider job! I wonder if I need to email Gloria again?
2. Nail my audition at AGT! I've got 40 years of suppressed, seething, yearning talent ready to come jumping out of this ole body and I'VE GOT NO PLANS TO BLOW IT!
3. Remain stern in my resolve that no matter what, me & the fam ALWAYS indulge in the best holiday meals we can afford. Screw it!
4. Pamper my pets and my kids' pets 'cuz it's the closest I'll be to grambabies for awhile and they all give such great comfort and unconditional love in these trying times.
5. Never take NO for an answer.
6. Convince my data plan carrier I need a ZILLION MB's even tho I really can't afford them.
7. Keep communally drop kicking those that need a 'good swift one'.
8. Live it up in my new Malibu pad surrounded by my kids, 'adopted' kids & pets, sipping Margie's w/Matt.
9. Do everything in my power to record and publish "Innocence Pays' and donate all profits to NCMEC in Adam's and Christopher's names.
10. NEVER, EVER, EVER AGAIN let the negativity I was raised with creep into my life, R.I.P. mom & dad.

That's a short blurb of what I'm looking forward to in 2010. Now, do your homework AND start that list! 2010's right around the bend!

Sunday, December 27, 2009

A NATIONAL SHAME: CHILD ABDUCTION and ABUSE

OH, NO! It happened again! OH, NO! It happened again! Like a bad Pink Floyd song, the national headlines just keep repeating themselves: CHILD ABDUCTED, CHILD SEXUALLY ASSAULTED, CHILD KILLED BY ABUSE. Have we become so inured that these declarations no longer bother us? Sometimes, I really wonder about our national conscience!
When you read about car thieves getting life sentences, and then you ponder WHAT LITTLE IS BEING DONE on a daily basis to deter children from being victimized, it highlights just how sk*ewed up our country is. When we value steel over flesh and blood, it is time for us to take a collective 'let's do SOMETHING about this' attitude and try to SAVE OUR KIDS!
As horrible as it is to ponder, I'm sure you don't have to dig too deep to find a child victimization story that has affected your life. I personally had something hit home when my own children were younger. Living in the relative rural safety of Iroquois county in Illinois, you can imagine the fears generated by the local headlines screaming that a young boy from Aroma Park, (which was 8 miles from our hometown!) had been abducted from the banks of the Kankakee river while fishing, sexually assaulted, brutally slain and then dumped in a local preserve like so much garbage. Chills ran through me! So long, sense of security! So long, peace of mind! As a parent you learn through these tragedies to be ever vigilant, to NEVER let your guard down!
And to be thankful that you have never had to walk in THOSE SHOES! I can't fathom how parents continue to function after losing a child so horrifically! They are in my thoughts and prayers every day when I pray for the safety of my own children. And yet, the stories just keep coming!
But this ONE time, the Big G decided to smile on our pathetic state and give us a Christmas miracle! An abducted child was returned home for the holidays. Unfortunately, that is too often a fluke and not the norm. And the body count continues to rise as our nation turns a blind eye!
So today, I am asking all friends of this blog, moms and dads, OR anyone who thinks that our children should be a NATIONAL PRIORITY, to take time in this New Year, after the celebrations and good cheer, to make doing SOMETHING, ANYTHING, about this national tragedy ONE OF YOUR NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS.
Whether you become a block parent, volunteer for crossing guard duty, post pedophiles' profiles to inform your community, etc., please make it YOUR priority in the New Year to SAVE OUR KIDS!
Thank you and may the Big G keep all our kids safe!

P.S. In relation to my quest to win AGT this season, please see the comment box below this blog. There you will see posted the lyrics to a song I was compelled to write one day after I had driven past the Aroma Park city limit sign. After Christopher's tragic taking, I could never again drive past that sign without thinking of and saying a prayer for him.

Friday, December 25, 2009

Christmas Dreaming in California

MERRY CHRISTMAS OR (insert proper holiday title here) whatever festivities you and your loved ones celebrate this winter season!
Here's hoping your holidays were as wonderful as mine! I got to see my son again after a long spell and the reunion was great. Even though he's going through some hard times now, he has managed to put things in perspective, set new goals for himself and move forward with his life. TYG!
My beautiful daughter and handsome son-in-law have just finished celebrating two years of wedded bliss. Their eyes still sparkle and you can hear the tenderness in their voices. It truly is an enchanting story to be a part of. TYG!
And I myself have come to a HUGE crossroads in my life. I have FINALLY decided to throw off ALL the shackles of my past and be the woman I have always thought God put me on this earth to be. I am grabbing the limited talents he has provided and RUNNING to the finish line. Running because I have little time left to waste, I have wasted SO much already! I am ready to put it all ON THE LINE, make a fool of myself and damn the torpedoes!
So everyday, I am rehearsing, writing down song lyrics, practicing my own catalogue and wondering what I should do for wardrobe, hair, etc., that will give me all the advantages I will need TO WIN AMERICA'S GOT TALENT!
No, that's no holiday haha! I've convinced myself and now I spend my time convincing EVERYONE I TALK TO that this AGT season, DIS IS YO MAMA will reign supreme!
How do I know this? For almost forty years now, I have been writing my own songs. In high school, I won a school wide literary competition with a poem it took me 15 minutes to write in class, my very first effort at such a thing. And then it started. Things would just come to me. I would have to stop whatever I was doing and write down lyrics to songs concerning events of my life. And then when it comes to performing said same songs, it gives me chills. Chills that have been incited by very few other events. I have known for a long time that this was what I was born to do.
But as John Lennon liked to say, life had other plans for me. Two great kids with a bumpy road to travel as a single mom. Men who were more interested in having a nursemaid than in having ME. Ups and downs I have no doubt I will at sometime mention in this blog, just not right now.
And through all of life's travails, I have only made things harder on myself by having little self belief. I'm manic-depressive, strike one. I had a pessimistic atmosphere in my upbringing, strike two. I was never lucky enough to find that 'special someone' who cared if I succeeded, strike three. There have been many times I would have liked to count myself out. It was only the thought of my children that kept me here.
But now, at long last, ALL THE PIECES HAVE COME TOGETHER! I'm a big believer in karma and there being a season and time for everything in one's life. In my heart I know that time IS NOW for me and I'm VERY excited by the prospect! Many times I have thought that I have become far too old to realize any of those 'kiddie' dreams. And then AGT came along, and SuBo and Kevin Skinner and something inside said GO FOR IT, GIRL! You still can realize that lifelong dream and make it everything you thought it would be.
So, I've decided to keep you up to date on all the goings on here in Hollywood until January 23rd, the big day of my audition! I already KNOW I'll get a gold ticket. Then it will be off to Las Vegas where I can spend more time with my son during the show's progress which will be sweet!
So, as you can see, I'm in a MUCH BETTER mood than I was at Thanksgiving (see: Things I'm Not Grateful For). And I'm asking for your help and advice to MAKE THIS THING HAPPEN! Leave your thoughts in the comment box below this blog, I would REALLY appreciate it!
And just call me CheBa!
HO!HO!HO!

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

TAKING BACK THE RUNWAYS

At least we are making progress somewhere! I was pleasantly surprised to hear about the new airline regulations and the fact that the American (remember, it's just DOMESTIC flights) flyer is no longer susceptible to being held hostage on an airplane!
Having had a somewhat horrible experience myself some years ago on a flight home from Shanghai, I can personally attest to having had that 'hostage' feeling. I had spent 18 hours winging my way home that trip, cranky, tired (I CAN'T sleep in flight) suffering from a worsening bladder infection and a bad case of the nicotine fits. When our bird finally arrived at the Detroit airport at 8:00 a.m. for our final stop before it was home to Chitown, I was relieved to be 'almost' home.
HA! Little did I know that said same Detroit airport had just become a photo-op for then rivaling candidates Al Gore and George Bush. They had arrived in town simultaneously for another political 'fun'draiser and were the perpetrators of the takeover. To what, I soon learned, would be MY great dismay and potential arrest.
We had all disembarked and were somewhat patiently standing in the customs lines, waiting to be herded through, grab our bags and our connect to Chicago. It was then we hit the wall. Stuck. Between that long corridor from the plane to the lines in front of the customs counters. After a while the buzz started through the crowd that the line WASN'T moving BECAUSE THERE WERE NO AGENTS IN ATTENDANCE. Gee, we all said, that's kind of strange, because after all, it's now getting to be 9:00 a.m. and there's STILL no one in sight!
And then an elevator door opened and there were 3 of them, customs agents, that is. Hurray, we all thought, the show's gonna start and maybe we still have time to catch those connects! And then THEY STARTED WALKING IN THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION, away from the counters, us and their DUTIES. I was livid!
I ran to catch up with them and ask what the delay was. They explained to me that THE CUSTOMS COUNTER DID NOT OPEN UNTIL 10:00 a.m.. It took everything I had not to laugh in the female agent's face. I didn't know who she was trying to fool, but I had NEVER heard such a thing! Oh wait, I think I have, Pinnochio! Every time there is a flight delay, or they have overbooked your flight, or they've lost your bag, or ANY little thing goes wrong at the airlines, YOU WOULD NOT BELIEVE THE STORIES I'VE BEEN FED. Stories that even a 3 year old sleepy at bedtime wouldn't believe! But I'm sure I don't have to TELL YOU. Not if you're an American who has flown more than once.
So, my irritable brain syndrome took over and I started to verbally spar with the trio, who very apparently could care less as they threatened me with jail and then walked away clutching their steaming javas.
Well, now the excruciating pain from my bad back was joined by a throbbing head. Here we all were, being held hostage in an airport CORRIDOR - no bathrooms, no vendors, no seats. And nothing we could do about it but stand there and take it.
Well, I wasn't going to, G damn it! So I finally found a friendly airport worker who allowed me to at least sneak out for a smoke during what turned out to be a two and a half hour wait on the customs people.
You can just imagine for yourself what my lividity turned into when I hit that stinky outside terminal air to pollute my lungs even more with a cig, AND FINALLY FOUND OUT WHAT WAS CAUSING THE LONG WAIT. The airport was on lockdown because of Gore and Bush AND THE CUSTOMS AGENTS were busy joining in on that photo-op! How politically correct! NOT!
So, of course, I couldn't wait to race back and tell the rest of the orchestral entourage THE REAL REASON we were being treated like refugees bound for Auschwitz instead of weary travelers heading home.
But I could regale you with similar stories of the 'sterling' reputations of airlines I have flown for hours. I would just like to say here that it is about time that flyers took back their civil rights and stopped agreeing to being treated like cattle or worse. This week's regulations were a GIANT step in the right flight path.
Now maybe we could get even luckier and have ALL flight training provided by Cap'n Ches. He could teach his fellow employees a thing or two, I'm sure!

Monday, December 21, 2009

LET'S REFORM 'REFORM'!

Sorry this is out a little late, but I wanted to watch the Evening News with Katie to make sure I was up-to-date on the latest goings on in the Senate regarding the Health Care vote.
Sooo, it still looks like they MIGHT JUST PASS THIS PUPPY! And that's what it's become, a mere whelp for now because of the Republican CRY BABIES (insert word for female dog here) who should form a group or something so they can console one another!
And it is NOT without certain DEMOCRATS out on the floor who took advantage of the stalemates to make sure they padded their own pastures. However, as was stated by a pundit on same said Evening News, most of the Democratic initiatives included with the re-re-re-revamped Health Care Bill ARE for worthy constituent causes and NOT BRIDGES TO NOWHERE! Here, I'll give a shout out and ATTA GIRL to Sarah for winning that award thingy for the whole 'death panel' Twitter that helped fuel the stagNATION!
So to get to my point tonight: IT IS TIME TO REFORM 'REFORM'. Why does a nation of intelligent, advanced, wealthy people take so long and fight so bitterly to advance legislation for the COMMON GOOD? I'LL TELL YOU WHY: Because there's a BUNCH OF GREEDY BASTARDS OUT THERE UNWILLING TO SHARE THE PIE! There, I said it!
It's time for us to STOP the legislative tactics of the past and expose new bills and laws being passed to the light of day. NO MORE: smoke and mirrors, back room deals, pork barrel projects, SPECIAL INTERESTS, etc., etc.. It is in EVERYONE'S interest that REVAMPING the way Congress works should BE A PRIORITY for this President. I'm sure the quagmire of this ordeal has taught him that!
Listen people, in a few days we turn the calendar to 2010. With all the advances we have made in this country, NO ONE PRESIDENT has had the courage or support to tackle this enormous task. Yet I think the time and opportunity have arrived.
So I ask you, Mr. President, as a loyal member of O.F.A. since VERY early on [(when my friends who were NOT from Illinois were laughing at me and laying odds)(wish I'd placed THAT bet with the L.V. SportsBook!)] it's looks like very soon you will achieve what people swore couldn't be done! Now, take the next step for this nation and REFORM Congress and the way it does business!

Sunday, December 20, 2009

BYE, BYE BRITTANY

I hate to say this, but as much as I enjoyed Brittany on the screen, her body of work and her comedic timing and wit, my first thought when I heard the news flash only minutes ago was: oh, no! NOT AGAIN!
What a waste! Another young Hollywood actress with everything to live for is with us no more. But we didn't even know her personally, and we feel the sense of uneccessary loss. You can only imagine how her family is feeling at this moment.
I have read and heard that it is an innner lack of self-esteem and security that drives people to the spotlight. They try to compensate for things lacking in childhood by seeking attention as adults. The fact that a great majority of these people are also HUGELY TALENTED leaves one to ponder the connections between nature and nurture.
That they get swallowed whole by the Hollywood machine is a known fact. If you're producing box office biggies and bringing those billions in, you're 'queen of the world'! The minute People stops putting your mug on it's cover, the phone stops ring-toning.
That we all get caught up in the spectacle of Hollywood's machine is the media's doing. Instead of forefronting people whose lives enrich us all, they glorify those who are clueless! We see it everyday on TV, radio, newspapers, magazines and now, the internet. How pathetic we've become!
Instead of spending our sheckles on things that count, like schools and education, we put our money down for RUMOR RAGS like The National Enquirer and such. SNAP OUT OF IT, PEOPLE! WHEN YOU STOP READING THIS GARBAGE, THEY'LL STOP PRINTING IT!
Move on to bigger and better things! Celebrity watching does not ENHANCE your lives in any way! And most of these peeps just want their privacy, like you and I. Stop reading so the pappz will stop jumping out of bushes and scaring Angie's kids! Would you want sh*t like that happening to YOUR child? I think not.
My own personal theory is that it's just another right wing atempt to control the direction of this country. Big Brother updated. Survival of this trend relies on the profit it generates - if You don't spend the bucks, THEY go out of business, it's as simple as that!
So, let's get back to today's topic: Brittany's untimely passing. I enjoyed your movies. I sympathized with your personal struggles. I shared your joy when you overcame them. And now I am very sad for your loss. I extend my sympathies to your family and the Holywood community that I live in and love. Now, let's ALL learn a lesson from this, yet again: PEOPLE - spend less time reading rumor rags and more time loving your children.
Lest they grow up and become 'Brittanys' too!
R.I.P., funny lady!

Saturday, December 19, 2009

TWITTER TERRORISM

WOW! Just when I was starting to believe what my kids were telling me, that I was getting paranoid, I woke up to the news the other day that terrorists had attacked TWITTER!
Claims by a terrorism related group are being debunked currently by the media. I can't wait to see what the bottom line on this story becomes, but I'm going to relate to you a PRETTY TERRIFYING story of my own.
In my efforts to get thedailypisser up and running I've encountered all kinds of problems and roadblocks (Google TheDailyP to see my efforts to get hooked into AdSense). So far I've hurdled a couple and am working on lots more. But one thing I CANNOT resolve is something that happened to me THE DAY I linked my blog to my facebook account in my efforts to get the blog out there for you.
Since I had pretty much found all the friends I was looking for, imagine my surprise when I loaded fb that day to see I had 3 FREIND REQUESTS. Wow, I'm getting to be a pretty popular girl, I thought. Imagine my horror when I clicked on the requests and saw that my 3 'wannabe' new friends all looked like MIDDLE-EASTERNERS who were enrolled at your nearest pilot training school, if you get my drift!
I was stunned and horrified! I panicked! How did these guys happen across the blog? Was it because I mentioned Iran in the Thanksgiving column? I know Google tags words relating to current and hot button issues, is that how they 'flagged' me? Was it counterintelligence, spying on me? I was at a loss, but all I knew was I had to be pc and yet protect myself from 'terrorist' hackers or worse!
So, I took the necessary precautions and then went through the stages of denial as I tried to figure out if I should pursue this any further. I asked friends for advice and got their opinions, varying from that I was smoking too much to calling the local police. I ruminated then decided to take some action.
Unfortunately, the actions I took led to inaction from others that has got me EVEN MORE SCARED THEN BEFORE ALL THIS STARTED! A few nights ago, I called the only listing I could find in L.A. for the F.B.I.. The gentleman who answered the phone patiently listened to my story, then proceeded to ask me to call back after 8:30 a.m.. Then, I tried to find a listing for The Department of Homeland Security in Washington, D.C.. I found and tried several of these phone numbers until SOMEONE ACTUALLY ANSWERED THE PHONE! This time, the operator wasn't as patient, didn't want to hear any elaborations and just told me to call back after 8:30 a.m.!
Geez, that series of efforts left me feeling a whole lot better! NOT!!!!
Needless to say, I called back neither place AFTER 8:30 a.m.. I guess I know now when the Government starts their day! And I'm sorry to tell YOU that neither office has tried to CONTACT ME!
So now, besides being scared of the 'wannabe' friends, I'm scared that the Government DOESN'T GIVE A DAMN when an average citizen wants to report suspicious activities! I'm sure that's pretty much what led to 911, aren't you? And that's what scares me. AND IT SHOULD SCARE YOU!
I don't know about you, but MY next step is to start building an underground shelter!

Friday, December 18, 2009

Oral, Oral, Oral! It rhymed with IMMORAL!

Snake oil salesmen are nothing new. Through time, there have always been people willing to make a fast buck on other people's misfortune and ignorance. The most heinous of these are those that cloak themselves in religious garb.
I've always said that religion is big business with a great loophole: they don't have to pay taxes. More and more it comes to light that along with goodness and grace, religion has left it's better days behind. Religion today masquerades as a front for pedophiles, terrorists, embezzlers and worse. In my mind, a hypocritical adulterer ranks right up there with the rest of them!
Oral could have been a founding 'religious' member of the "I OWN A HUGE WALK IN CLOSET SOCIETY". I have often said that the people who scream the loudest have the BIGGEST skeletons in THEIR closets. It makes one wonder what Oral's mama put him through in his childhood? She did turn out to be psychic though when she named him, so she had that going for her!
Oral, Oral, Oral. I bet he cringed inside when someone called him that after that sex tape hit the internet! Why is it that people like Oral spend their whole lives hiding from who they REALLY are while they expend all their energy trying to tell the rest of us how to live? I've given it great thought and have come to believe that truly ONLY GOD KNOWS.
Why do people like Oral and Jimmy and Jim Jones indulge in lies, excess and thievery in the name of the Lord? And why do people out there not educate themselves to see the difference between a savior and a snake oil salesman?
Again, I truly believe that ONLY GOD KNOWS.
But there is one thing I KNOW, or at least believe to be true: ORAL AIN'T GOIN TO HEAVEN! Why do you think he hung around so long!

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

EVEN YOUR PIGGY BANK ISN'T SAFE ANYMORE!

Hard times come and hard times go, yet there are still a few things we hold onto for comfort, things we've saved for years, thinking we'd pass them down to the next generation. Your grandfather might have collected stamps, your niece might have a fantastic Barbie collection still in the boxes and almost anyone I've ever known has an affinity for saving special coins. Little remembrances of certain times and certain adventures in places they may never travel again.
That's why what happened to me the other day was oddly exhilarating at first, and then left me strangely disquieted. I cracked open my biweekly roll of quarters because it was time to do laundry. Being an amateur coin maven myself, an unusual one will normally catch my eye. Imagine my surprise when the whole roll turned out to be a treasure trove of old coins. I even got two SILVER quarters dated 1956! Wow, I though, that's pretty cool! I can't tell you when it was I saw my last piece of true silver.
As I fingered through the whole roll, every one of them turned out to be collectible. There were a few late 80's and newer 'states' quarters, but most of the contents of the roll was at least 25 years old. I though I had hit the jackpot!
AND THEN IT HIT ME: Somewhere out there, there was a grandmother, a small child grown, a person so down on their luck THEY HAD TO CASH IN something it took them a lifetime to collect for someone special. That realization gave me real pause.
And I am definitely not leading a sheltered life here in Hollywood. 90,000 homeless people sleep on the streets of L.A. on any given night. Half of them across the street from my house! (No, just kidding, it's only a small encampment). I haven't been able to find a job in a year and a half and have been drawing unemployment. And I don't walk my neighborhood after dark because I've already been confronted once by a gangbanger while I was walking to the Smart & Final ACROSS THE STREET FROM MY HOUSE! (Guess he was taking a break during his daily graffiti excursion).
But there just was SOMETHING about the thought of where those coins had come from that made me sad about the state of our country once again. If grandma's are crackin' porkers, the rest of us can't be far behind!

Monday, December 14, 2009

WHEN YOU'RE MAD, GET EVEN!

Now that I've got your attention, today's blog is all about helping my daughter help a dear friend. When the times look the bleakest and big brother's got his foot in your back the best thing to do is gather your buddies and give a communal drop kick. So please read and do what you can to help our cause.
I grew up in Chicago, but when it came to raising my own kids, I chose the tranquility of central Illinois' farming country. There was a sense of community and safety. No gangs, no violence, no drugs, well, at least only the ones I advised were okay.
My children grew up RIGHT across the street from the school, K-12. Consequently, our house was the 'hangin' grounds'. I got to know almost every child in our small little town (pop. 1200). One of these kids has remained a good friend to my daughter and son. She's married now and has 3 small children. AND a terminal diagnosis. She is fighting valiantly every day to stay well and stay alive - for herself, for the hubs and especially for those three precious little ones.
And now comes the rub. After being insured with one of the big 3 (and I'm talkin BIG) health care insurers, she is being denied VITAL diagnostic procedures that would hopefully prolong her life and give her the chance to raise those kids.
AND I know that EVERY single one of you has personally heard this excuse from a health care provider: THE TREATMENT IS NOT APPROVED, SO WE CAN'T COVER IT! How does treatment get approved, anyway then? If someone out there isn't willing to try it and advance its progress, how can any treatment be accepted?
I, myself, am hoping against hope that it's not the same old sh*t you see everyday on the news! We're tired of having to actually PAY out anything and your treatment has exceeded our profit/loss margin, so now we're DUMPING YOU and moving on to the next sucker who wants to pay inflated insurance premiums to a company with its HQ in Las Vegas!
In Jamie's case, she has a rare form of liver cancer with a dire prognosis. Her medical team have agreed on a course of treatment that can give her ANY hope and now the big, bad, blue says it won't pay for her PET scans, which costs in the thousand of dollars. I'm hoping that it's not the same old case of insurance company character flaws: DENY, DENY, DENY and maybe she'll go away!
Jamie and her husband have decided to do the grown up thing and approach their company to see if they can get this worked out. So, for now, I just wanted to tell her story and enlist your future aid in anything we may do as a group to help.
I hate to say this, but good luck with that, Jamie & hubs. It's soooo evident by the state of our health care system (see: Women Unite for Health Care Reform) that our nation and insurers have a long way to go before they have attained your maturity.
All our love, thoughts and prayers are with you and your family for some sort of recovery and extended life.
As for your insurance company all I have to say is: DO THE MATH, IDIOTS! IT'S CHEAPER TO PAY FOR A FEW PET SCANS THAN TO HAVE THE PUBLIC SUPPORT AND RAISE THREE MOTHERLESS CHILDREN!!!!! GEEZE, DID I REALLY HAVE TO SAY that out loud? Doesn't EVERYBODY realize that?

P.S. To ALL the friends of Jamie and her family and this blog:
Please vote in the poll at the top: HAVE YOU EVER BEEN SCREWED OVER BY AN INSURANCE COMPANY?
AND then please leave your thoughts, suggestions and comments in the comment section.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH &
Chessy has left the outhouse

Friday, December 11, 2009

BILL O'REILLY: UR AN IDIOT!!!

Especially when you start aiming those blanks at one of my very favorite TV franchises: Law & Order: SVU! C'mon, who amongst you out there doesn't want Mariska or Chris to leave their shoes under YOUR bed some night!?
It never fails to amaze me how such high profile blowhards like Bill seem to have so much free time on their hands (cuz they've already contributed SO much to helping solve the real issues) that they have to start slinging their empty arrows at our ENTERTAINMENT, for gosh sakes! It's TV, Bill, take a Xanax and chill out!
Oh, wait, you're on TV, too! Except, instead of entertaining us, you're supposed to be informing and educating us with your program. But what we get is alot of balloon propellant about what YOU do or do not like! Wow, Bill, mea culpa for not realizing it was ALL ABOUT YOU!
BUT IT DOESN'T SURPRISE ME, THOUGH.
For someone who probably has a good dozen HUGE walk-in closets (literally and figuratively)I'm sure you've got ALL KINDS of twisted sh*t waiting to come spilling out! Too bad you haven't thought of taking some of those big bucks you're making from your Republican boys club and hiring yourself a competent therapist!
So for now, I get to see your red, puffy face spewing venom anytime I accidently hit your channel. Somehow, you've managed to hang on to that pathetic piece of crap you call a show because your buddies in the conservative media are all afraid you'll spill your guts lest they can your tired ass!
Because when I want to REALLY see what's relevant and what's current, I, MYSELF turn to shows exactly like SVU! Their people take the time to care about and research current topics, displaying them in a thoughtful AND fore-thoughtful manner. Whereas, you, on the other hand, are so worried about your ratings points and your next big paycheck, you couldn't possibly find time to compassionately consider the rest of us peons!
And when I want to see REAL entertainment, I'll watch your show for about 30 seconds. That's all I can take before it makes me want to hurl!
TAKE A PILL BILL, & CHILL!!!

MAMA QUOTE OF THE DAY: " Not an ounce of care, 'nuthin but air!"

DIS IS YO MAMA

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Let's 'Peace Out' the Peace Prize

No matter what, there is always someone out there willing to rain on your parade. If you're smarter, prettier, wealthier, sexier - well you get the drift, then there will always be people ready and willing to drag you down. Try to lift yourself up and you'll be back in the gutter with one swift quick from the quivering masses.
I have always felt that criticism that is NOT constructive stems from a lack of self-esteem and jealousy, two character traits I believe that everyone should try to avoid. If you've led a life of cynicism and doubt, then it's easy to be derogatory. The hard thing is to have optimism and hope.
My own childhood was not conducive to healthy development. Instead of encouragement, there was control. To replace ambition and invention, there was sarcasm and laughter. Consequently, I've struggled a lifetime to become the person I should have been all along.
Which leads me to the point of this article: LEAVE THE GOSH DARNED PRESIDENT ALONE!!!!! And that's President Obama to you, NOT mister! Since when did we lose such respect for the office? When the skin tone changed? I love all the haters who masquerade as do-gooders. Your walk in closet must be HUGE.
I've always had in it for hypocrites and critics. If you can't be your true self and you live 99% of your life in that walk-in, then do us all a favor and move on to the next plane. The one where they build the houses out of smoke and mirrors. And if you don't have something positive to say that helps move us all forward, then take your sorry ass to Eastern Europe, everybody there will like you just fine!
And for those of you out there who don't get what the Nobel Peace Prize is all about, here's a clue: IT'S A SYMBOL, NOT A CROWN!
To me, the prize stands for hope and optimism, freindship and faith and a willingness to move into a brighter future. For those of you out there who find it hard to celebrate these values, I'm sure the KKK has a hood with your name on it. It is time to stop living in the past and embrace the future, for our own good. And by the way, wasn't that what started this country?
And talk about living in the past, did we all forget 'Bushie' was president for 8 years? I guess it's easy for the Republicans, alot harder for the rest of us who are unemployed and living on ramen. I blame it on their control of the media and their limitless ability to spin. And the fear of THEIR future - Sarah Palin - don't get me started there! (That's a different blog!).
So, congratulations, President Obama! Keep up the good work! And like my first boss used to say: "Don't let the bastards get you down!". My children and grandchildren are depending on it!

MAMA QUOTE OF THE DAY: "If you don't have anything good to say, don't say anything".

DIS IS YO MAMA

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

WELCOME FRIENDS!

Just wanted to say thanks for checking out THE DAILY PISSER!

I'm interested in your thoughts and concerns. What's relevant to you right now? Let's tackle current topics and old gripes with an eye to finding workable solutions. The best minds in America surf the web, let's put all that brainpower to work! Let's try to make a REAL difference in the way we treat one another every day.

I NEED YOUR INPUT! The list of things I could bitch about goes on and on, but this blog is about YOU. What would YOU like to see change?

Please leave your comments and suggestions. The more you BITCH, the more likely I am to write a blog about it!

So enjoy the in(s)anity, and COME BACK OFTEN!

Thank you very much &
Chessy has left the building!


And remember: KEEP ON PISSIN'

Thursday, November 26, 2009

THINGS I'M NOT GRATEFUL FOR

HAPPY THANKSGIVING TO ALL!

On this day we share with family and freinds, assessing our blessings, then gorging ourselves beyond reason as we try to convince ourselves that everything is fine, I'm here to say that everything is NOT.

Don't get me wrong now. I have plenty to be thankful for and I try to appreciate that EVERYDAY, not just on Thanksgiving. But frankly, I don't know you all that well yet and I prefer to keep it to myself for the time being.

But I know that there are lots of things that aren't what they used to be and that leaves me wondering why. As the world and technology spins to the future, I often feel that socially and personally, we are regressing as a whole. I hate to say it, because it makes me feel ancient, but are the good old days really behind us? I shudder to think so, yet it's evident around me everyday.

So hence, I present you my list of things I am NOT grateful for this holiday:

*WHAT HOLIDAY IS IT ANYWAY? Walk into any retail space and it's hard to tell. I'm looking forward to Christmas, myself. Since the kids are grown and we decided to forgo the whole retail segment of this experience, it's been alot more fun. And besides, who's supposed to create holiday memories anyway? Mom and dad or Wal-Mart? Screw it people! Stop glamorizing the materialistic aspect of it, you can't really afford it anyway! Instead, save your money to provide the best meal you can and do whatever your family's idea of fun is to the nth degree! The only ones who won't benefit and won't like it will be the retailers. Everybody else will have great stories to tell their kids and grandkids.

*IMAGINARY SHORTAGES. Come on people! If your kid really wants that 'hot' new thing, BUY IT IN SEPTEMBER! If YOU don't care enough to buy it then, then I don't think you're kids are really gonna miss it. Your family has bigger problems than finding Barbie's Jeep. Pushing, shoving and dropping expletives while drop kicking the door greeter is NOT the way to pass the holiday spirit down to the little ones.

*PAYING EXTRA FOR THE PRIVELEGE OF GETTING SCREWED! Since there are too many examples of this for my mere column to mention them all, I'll keep it simple. One prime example this holiday travelling season: Charge me more, whydoncha, to fly with baggage, when you know good and well I'm taking my chances it will actually BE on the luggage carousal when I arrive at my destination. 'Nough said.

I could go on and on and on... but I won't. Got to leave some stuff(ing) for next turkey day! Hug the itty bitties and your other loved ones today, say a prayer for the soldiers and their families and kiss the ground and be thankful you don't live in Iran.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

CHASEing CUSTOMER SERVICE

Lest I ever had the notion that I had escaped the banking meltdown by the skin of my tax dollars, I was reminded rather rudely today that customer service is a dying art form.

I went to my bank of almost six years today to close my accounts. This was precipitated by a rather irritating interaction at my local branch on Saturday, when I learned that the new conglomerate that had swallowed up the dead fish of my old bank had changed one policy too many for my liking.

Obviously, I'm not the only unsatisfied customer. When the customer service representative helped me, she wasn't even interested in why I was closing the accounts. My guess is she must have known already and didn't want to hear the gripes again. If that's the case, then why are you working here and PRETENDING to help me?

Then we played pass the buck as I tried to explain that I had, yet again, been given erroneous information at the other branch on Saturday. Why is it that NO one wants to take responsibility for anything anymore? And what's the point of having a policy if each branch does and says what it will and then nobody gets held accountable? More importantly, HOW DO THESE PEOPLE KEEP THEIR JOBS, I'D LIKE TO KNOW.

At that, I got attitude from the rep, so I gave it right back. I find it astonishing that people will not tolerate you treating them the way they're treating you. And then just throw in a few self-truths about the establishment that employs them and suddenly the conversation's over as far as they're concerned.

I honestly don't understand how people of this character get jobs in the financial sector. Oh wait, Bernie, I think I do. Unless they're bending you over the teller's counter without the courtesy of some vaseline, raping you for using your own money, you're of no use to them.

Being a business major myself, my theory is that THIS takeover crowd is new in town and looking to hook the big bucks. Let's go where the money is NOW and screw the little guys who kept us afloat and didn't jump ship when we took over.

And because the bailout billions weren't quite enough for our greedy little asses, let's find new ways to screw our loyal customers while we lure in new, unsuspecting souls with fantastic offers that the regulars can't get. And as we slyly and slowly raise all of our fees and try to find ingenious new ways to charge you exorbitant amounts to use your own cash, why would we possibly care what you want or need?

TELL ME: What is wrong with this picture? I'm old enough to remember when customer service actually had a WORKING definition. Companies competed to get and KEEP your business with courtesy, accommodation and a smile. Nowadays, all you get is rude, get in & get out and 'tude. They also hope you can't see well enough to read the fine print once you're out that door!

But this is still America, G damn it! I can still choose to spend and PUT my money where I want. If you are going to make it feel like you're doing me a favor by letting me enrich YOUR establishment, guess what? I'll do you a favor and take my money elsewhere, thank you very much!

Monday, November 23, 2009

KICK A HATER GINGERLY DAY

Just when you think you've heard it all, the industrious youth of America have invented yet another category of in(s)ane. As we slowly roll out the Constitutional 'red' carpet to the downtrodden, where could the aisle of hate possibly end? With the redheads, of course!?!???



Through time, the insecure and ignorant have invariably found someone to hate. Using various unjustifiable reasonings, haters will readily vent their inner frustrations on any innocent, unsuspecting individual who has the misfortune of crossing their paths. And as we slowly swim to the surface through the quagmire of equitable Constitutional and human rights, even the haters want to be pc. When our society moves to protect the rights of identifiable factions, the haters, creative as they are, just find someone new to loathe. So now we've come to this.

So now I feel a real need to say this: "KIDS DON'T LEARN TO HATE FROM TV SHOWS! THEY LEARN TO HATE FROM THEIR UPBRINGING!!!!!!".

There, I feel much better, now.

Personally speaking, my childhood was sprinkled with prejudice just as well as love. My parents were immigrants, WWII survivors. My mother was taken off the family homestead at the age of fourteen, forced into slave labor on a German farm. Backbreaking work, raw potatoes and slogging in the snow with no shoes comprised her puberty. She ACTUALLY had plenty of reasons to be hateful. My mother also told me once that she had never seen a black person in her whole life until her ship steamed into Ellis Island. Needless to say, there were plenty of perjoratives slung around my house.

And from this childhood my personal philosophy has become one of embracing the good and burying the bad of every event. Each day passes from darkness into light. Life is beyond our control. One can choose to hate and perpetuate the sins of the father OR draw one's own conclusions and really be your own person.

But lest you think I'm trying to place myself in the running for the 'Mama Teresa of the Year Award', there are still plenty of biases I hold that I struggle everyday to overcome. Proudly though I can say these all stem from personal experiences and not something I heard from somebody else. My decision was made long ago to judge a person face to face, not by inherited biases.

Jews and Germans were a favorite "haters" target in my house. Personally, I've worked off and on for Jewish bosses since the age of 14. Despite my efforts to overcome my upbringing, when asked my opinion of the group as a whole, my favorite line is: 'A Jewish person would sell their own grandma for the right price'. But I don't HATE them for it. It's just an observation. And I was never wary of black men until 2 of them tried to force me into the bushes in front of the Shedd Aquarium one hot summer's night as I was frantically searching for my 'lost' 1st husband along the lakefront and they offered to help. To this day I remember running willy nilly across all 8 lanes of LSD (while on LSD) to get away. Motorists slammed on brakes and swerved. I kept running. All the way back to our van, 2 miles away, never stopping, never looking back. There I waited, shaken, until everyone in our party returned. And I was grateful to have escaped. Glad I had chosen becoming road kill over possible assault or worse.

It took me a long time to not instinctively move away and clutch my purse when a black man got on an elevator with me. But again, I tried really hard to not let that bad experience cloud my judgement in new encounters. Then, many years later, a half African-American sweetheart became my son-in-law. As a mama-in-law, I couldn't have asked for a more caring, considerate, polite, thoughtful and respectful new 'son'. As a lifetime loser at love, I thank my G&G everyday that my beautiful, kind, talented daughter drew the queen of hearts.

And speaking of hearts (which are red) and blood (which is red) and anger (which is red): KIDS - STOP THE SELF LOATHING. Turn all that energy into things that really matter and I guarantee you'll feel much better when it's said and done. "You can crawl in the gutter OR rise up above"(c.'97).

But enough of that crap. I'm getting ready to go out and KICKstart GINGERLY some teenage badasses' brain. Now, if I could only find my little red hammer...

MAMA QUOTE OF THE DAY: "You can't hate your own grandchildren".

DIS IS YO MAMA

Sunday, November 22, 2009

Women UNITE For Health Care Reform

After a lifetime of poor or no insurance, I have seen the worst AND the best medicine has to offer. Attitudes and assistance aimed towards the underinsured has at times left me in frustration wanting to add the words: "And only if The Price Is Right" to the end of the Hippocratic oaths I see hanging in the medical offices.

Personally, I suffered with fibroids for many years. After seeing 10 doctors who were all certain I should have a hysterectomy since I was done having children, I found my hero. He removed the fibroids laproscopically and I have been fine ever since. Speaking from this experience I will now say: "IT IS TIME FOR THE AMERICAN HEALTH CARE SYSTEM TO STOP TAKING LUXURY VACATIONS ON THE BACKS AND REPRODUCTIVE ORGANS OF THE AMERICAN WOMAN!".

AMERICAN WOMEN: Stop falling for the scare tactics! Be smart. When there are as many preventative screenings for male maladies as there are for female ones, maybe then you can believe the hype. Do we really think we're so much more vulnerable than men? Or is it that our sensibilities and proactive stances are being preyed upon by money grubbers? And what of the effects of multiple unnecessary screenings? Maybe one should ask these questions when being confronted by the panic mongers who no doubt have a ve$ted intere$t in YOUR body.

One plank of my American dream has always been that you shouldn't have to be wealthy to afford good health. It is time for the health care system to STOP holding our communal well being hostage and live by the oath they have sworn. Our health is NOT a commodity to be bargained but rather a fundamental American RIGHT.

Please stay INFORMED and INDIGNANT. The time for reform is now.

P.S. TO ALL HEALTH CARE PROFESSIONALS: The next time you leave me waiting in your office for hours, I'm going to ask you this question: "Why do you feel that your time is so much more valuable than mine?". We all have our limited time here. Mine is as valuable to me as yours is to you. Can't wait to hear your answer!

AND to all religious medical professionals and political panic mongers (as I know of very few atheistic or agnostic doctors/politicians): What questions do you think your Lord will have for YOU when he acknowledges you traded people's health for lucre?

DIS IS YO MAMA