CHASEing CUSTOMER SERVICE

Lest I ever had the notion that I had escaped the banking meltdown by the skin of my tax dollars, I was reminded rather rudely today that customer service is a dying art form.

I went to my bank of almost six years today to close my accounts. This was precipitated by a rather irritating interaction at my local branch on Saturday, when I learned that the new conglomerate that had swallowed up the dead fish of my old bank had changed one policy too many for my liking.

Obviously, I'm not the only unsatisfied customer. When the customer service representative helped me, she wasn't even interested in why I was closing the accounts. My guess is she must have known already and didn't want to hear the gripes again. If that's the case, then why are you working here and PRETENDING to help me?

Then we played pass the buck as I tried to explain that I had, yet again, been given erroneous information at the other branch on Saturday. Why is it that NO one wants to take responsibility for anything anymore? And what's the point of having a policy if each branch does and says what it will and then nobody gets held accountable? More importantly, HOW DO THESE PEOPLE KEEP THEIR JOBS, I'D LIKE TO KNOW.

At that, I got attitude from the rep, so I gave it right back. I find it astonishing that people will not tolerate you treating them the way they're treating you. And then just throw in a few self-truths about the establishment that employs them and suddenly the conversation's over as far as they're concerned.

I honestly don't understand how people of this character get jobs in the financial sector. Oh wait, Bernie, I think I do. Unless they're bending you over the teller's counter without the courtesy of some vaseline, raping you for using your own money, you're of no use to them.

Being a business major myself, my theory is that THIS takeover crowd is new in town and looking to hook the big bucks. Let's go where the money is NOW and screw the little guys who kept us afloat and didn't jump ship when we took over.

And because the bailout billions weren't quite enough for our greedy little asses, let's find new ways to screw our loyal customers while we lure in new, unsuspecting souls with fantastic offers that the regulars can't get. And as we slyly and slowly raise all of our fees and try to find ingenious new ways to charge you exorbitant amounts to use your own cash, why would we possibly care what you want or need?

TELL ME: What is wrong with this picture? I'm old enough to remember when customer service actually had a WORKING definition. Companies competed to get and KEEP your business with courtesy, accommodation and a smile. Nowadays, all you get is rude, get in & get out and 'tude. They also hope you can't see well enough to read the fine print once you're out that door!

But this is still America, G damn it! I can still choose to spend and PUT my money where I want. If you are going to make it feel like you're doing me a favor by letting me enrich YOUR establishment, guess what? I'll do you a favor and take my money elsewhere, thank you very much!