THE DAILYP will return MONDAY, FEBRUARY 22, 2010

LOOK FOR ME @ OUR NEW ONLINE ADDY:

thedailypisser.com

Monday's blog: The BANKing of AMERICA

***NEWS FLASH!!!!

DIS IS YO MAMA is now officially going to be: DIS IS YO GRAMMA!!!! I'm ecstatic! Congrats, S&J! Love you!

IT'S A NO BRAINER TODAY!

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**ALL PRIZES in the Bissell Pet Contest are donated to charity
EXCEPT for a $500 Gift Card given to the PET OWNERS.

FAMILY HOLIDAYS 2009

FAMILY HOLIDAYS 2009
Jordan, Stephanie, me, Brian

CURRENT ISSUES and IDIOTS SLICED & DICED!

What pissed U off today?

Saturday, January 23, 2010

LOWDOWN from the BIG HOEDOWN

As I've been up for over 36 hours now, I figured I better post this before my head hits the pillows for a long, winter's nap! I know you're waiting for the updates....

Got in line at 4:45 a.m. - my number was 31! Not too shabby! Lots of friendly, talented, ambitious peeps in line. The cute kids, too numerous to mention. My buddy, Patty from L.V. was gonna do ol' blue eyes. He reminded me of Angus from 2 and a half! I just wanted to squeeze his chubby little cheeks and told him so! My new friend, Debbie & I hung out most of the trip, when we could manage to stay together! There was lots of hootin and hollerin and adorable signs rooting on sibs. Moms and dads hovered with pride, and us old folks scrambled to keep up with the young uns.

Lots of combos and instumentalists. Saw the neatest little uke shaped like a tiny guitar! Weird acts? Not too many, as far as I could see. Lots of jittery little dance groups in cute little clothes, with HUGE entourages of their own already. And all of us reaching for that brass ring!

The process was timely and pretty well organized, considering the crowd. The moved us along efficiently from station to station, with the most time spent outdoors doing crowd shouts and acting like fools! The enthusiasm was high and the crowd rightfully raucous. Then it was back upstairs for that precious 90 SECONDS.

They divided us into talent groups, singers here, combos there, etc. and then again into groups of ten. Each group was walked individually down a short hall to wait outside THE ROOM! As one group of ten exited, the next one entered. We stood against the back wall, eying the judges, awaiting our turns. I heard angels sing and young voices with promise, AND THEN THEY CALLED MY NAME!

Well, actually, they LOOKED at my name, then in the 50 years of hestitant pause that I'm used to, I figured it was MY TURN! You see, my real name is CHESTERINA and since it's so unique, no one is ever sure how to pronounce it! And then it was SHOWTIME!

I promised NOT to stand on the mark (I have to move when I perform) and gave it my BEST SHOT. My voice quavered just a little in refrain two when I realized where I was REALLY standing! Not on some 'X' taped to the floor BUT AT THE BIGGEST CROSSROADS OF MY LIFE! The realization became a little overwhelming at that moment! But I carried on like the 40 year trooper I've become in that quest!

I thanked the judges, chucked them one of my song compilation cd's (accapella for copyright purposes only) asked about restrictions on the blog AND THEN I WAS OUT OF THERE!

I breathed a huge one as I gathered my goodies and called the kids to come pick me up! IT WAS OVER.

AND I THINK I NAILED IT! But you be the judges! Check me out @ youtube.com.. You're looking for:

REHEARSING FOR AMERICA'S GOT TALENT - JAMBALAYA

We get the word first week of March as to who was picked to proceed on to the gleaning in Las Vegas!

Think: PHONE CALL!

Friday, January 22, 2010

HOPE for HAITI NOW Telethon RED CARPET REVIEW















WOW!!!! THE greatest concert I have ever seen for FREE! Just remember, folks, that NOTHING in this life is FREE, and at this time the Haitian people are paying a most terrible cost through no fault of their own! SO DIG DEEP and DIG OFTEN, into both your wallets and your hearts AND DONATE YOUR CASH!!!!

*STAR POWER REVIEW*
Well, knock me over with a feather, I should have worn TWO pairs of sunglasses! EVERYBODY WHOSE ANYBODY showed up at this show, and I, personally, enjoyed every single minute! GREAT JOB!

*MUSIC MELTDOWN REVIEW*
As most are parents themselves, the poignant stories of suffering by innocent children was evidenced in the moist eyes of the musicians. They gave it their all - from heart and soul - and you could hear it in their pain-filled renditons.

*TECH HEAVIES*
Way to work those phones, Reese, Julia, Steven, etc., etc.. I'm sure talking to you thrilled everyone to their toes! You took the time to give everybody a few moments of your time AND a lifetime of stories! And those breaking voices were no acting jobs. Just fellow parents whose hearts were aching and breaking right with the caller's.

*MONOLOGUE MASTERS REVIEW*
DOUBLE WOW, on this one, kids! Hwood's BIGGEST heavyweights were HOT and had heavy hearts, too!
What parent can watch the children suffering and NOT THINK OF THEIR OWN? It's good to know our golden guys & gals appreciate their privilege and pain for the poor. Halle, Ben, Brad, etal.., you make me proud to live in Hollywood!

*SPECIAL SHOUT OUTS*
My pets were privy to many rounds of applause, salutes and standing o's at my house tonight! I'm mentioning just a few that gave me chills and thrills!

JENNIFER HUDSON - you gave me chills, gfriend! What a voice! A gift from the Big G, reaching through personal tragedy to touch the lives of the lost.

KID, SHERYL & KEITH - how long did you rehearse that? You sounded like a choir of angels! Let's hope the Big G heard you! I think he did.

Taylor, Madonna, Stevie, & co. - you all knocked my socks off by putting your ALL into the noblest of causes. As a 'wannabe' who would ask to humbly stand in your company, YOU DID ME and the Nation PROUD!

WHAT A SHOW!!!!

P.S. Now it's off to dye the old roots, s,s&s and get plenty of rest for the big audi tomorrow!
Next we talk, I'll have the dish!

HOPE for HAITI NOW Telethon












Just a reminder, folks, the big blowout bash airs tonight! If it's date night, set your DVR's! You don't want to miss this one! And don't forget why the ballers are bangin' AND DONATE!
Trash talk is at the bottom of the can today, where it belongs!

HAITI HOW YA DOINS':

DR. SANJAY GUPTA: I often wonder, when I see the docs on TV, if their only REAL talent is being handsome! NOT SO! Here's a Haiti shout out to Sanjay! Keep up the good work. Defying the aftershocks and worsening conditions, Dr. G is performing tiny miracles in hell.

ADAM LAMBERT: Nice PSA, baby! My FAV Idol runner-up took time out of his busy schedule to give back. There are plenty of places to donate your cash! If you have a fav celeb, feel free to help them help Haiti!

HAITIAN GOV: Yeah! You are relocating 400,000 from the squalid, tremoring streets of Port-Au-Prince and moving them to safety! Sometimes, the Big G DOES listen to my prayers! Thanks!

HOPE FOR HAITI NOW cast of players: We LOVE knocking your foibles and excess. But when push comes to shove, SHOW BIZ always pulls through! We love knowing your hearts are made of pure gold EVEN THOUGH the grills are blinding us!

POTENTIAL DONORS: Here's a hug from the Big G! If you haven't had the time yet, please do so this weekend! The road ahead is long and arduous and the cost will be steep. We need to stay the course and offer these brave people a NEW and BETTER tomorrow! THANK YOU

YESTERDAY'S TRASH:
CONAN gets $45M for NOT working! Take me away, too, Conan!
BANK bailout bubble bursts!
SCOTT BROWN - open mouth, insert foot! Thanks for the early tip-off!
STATE of MICH - Who the hell is the guy that runs Trijicon? PAT?
SUPREME COURT GOES MAD!

P.S. Wish me luck for my AGT audition tomorrow! Full report from the audition line on Sunday!
TOMORROW: Hope for Haiti Now RED CARPET REVIEW!

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

HAITI HAPPENINGS















OKAY - Here's today's trash talk so we can get to the important stuff!
NOBODY blames Conan!
EVERYBODY blames Martha!
EVERYONE should give The Prez a chance, it's only been a year, peeps, and D.C. was a BIG mess!
WHAT happened to Barbie Heidi's face?
WE ALL KNOW Kara can't really sing!

TODAY'S HAITI SHOUT OUTS:

KUDOS to all the rescuers who are still pulling children and old women out of the rubble ALIVE! The human will to live is truly remarkable! Keep at it and godspeed!

ATTA BOY #2, DAVE ONO for pointing out that the surviving structures are extremely unsafe, yet people are still using them! After today's 6.1 aftershock, I would hope that the reigning authority at this time will make providing adequate housing a NUMBER ONE PRIORITY before yet more Haitians are injured or killed.

MAZEL TOV, ISRAELI FIELD HOSPITAL, for your swift response and continous efforts in providing that much needed medical attention. Infection, gangrene, amputations and complications will keep you quite busy. WE WILL try our hardest to keep those supplies coming, I HOPE!

HERE'S A REDBULL for all the peeps, military and civilian doing their damnest to distribute that food & water! Do me a favor, please, and after you're home and well rested, let Washington know how we can DO IT BETTER NEXT TIME, Thanks!

PRAYERS to the PEOPLE OF HAITI. I know we're slow and unorganized, but our hearts are in the right place. The burgeoning outpouring of volunteers, supplies and cash have shown that the American people CAN rise to any occasion. AND I'M VERY PROUD OF THAT!

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

HOPE for HAITI NOW

I read a wonderful oped piece in the L.A. Times the other day by columnist grodriguez. As much as I try to stay true to my childhood values and HONEST with myself about how well I'm doing in that endeavour, his article gave me pause.
And he was sooo totally right in the point he was making! Here we are, giving fools airtime, while angels wither. THE MEDIA'S only headlines this week should be about Haiti and what the world is doing to rise to the occasion. THIS country and it's people really need to realign their PRIORITIES and PREFERENCES!
I know that Martha's camp really dropped the ball, Google is duking it out with China, we lost a couple of very respected authors, Kim MIGHT marry Reggie and we never run out of spectacle to cover. But the REAL spectacle at this moment is the suffering and rescue efforts in that shattered island nation.
So, I'm going to try to follow in gr's footsteps and START A NEW ERA IN WEB REPORTING CALLED RESPONSIBLE JOURNALISM! I know I can't take credit for the concept, but I can help carve the definition!
ALL THIS WEEK I will be giving shout outs, atta girls and kudos to all the brave, compassionate souls who have taken it upon themselves to help in any way they can! If you see someone's story here that moves YOU to help in some way, ALL THE BETTER! Please feel free to take it upon yourselves to give aid and comfort while there's still time!

MY MAN, GEORGE! Besides being suave, handsome and deboner - you have a heart of GOLD! What a guy! Please watch the telethon Friday night, it's a humdinger! More big names and bling then you can shake your booty at! Bring the sunglasses and check out their website!
HOPE FOR HAITI NOW

JAKE WOOD: This handsome, handy, ex-military Californian has taken it upon himself to assemble a team of his buddies, get themselves and supplies to the D.R., cross the border to Haiti and START PERFORMING MUCH NEEDED MEDICAL PROCEDURES IN THE STREETS! Way to go, baby! The true American spirit on display!

JENNIFER ASHTON: My favorite resident CBS doc, has gone to Haiti and provided whatever medical assistance her training and conditions allow WHILE STILL REPORTING THE NEWS! With a mother's tears in her eyes evident at every broadcast. Hats off to you, Lady J! For abandoning your OWN loved ones to offer comfort to those not born with those 'silver spoons'!

DAVID ONO: By threat of daughterly harm, I am restricted to and LOVE watching CBS. However, I have surfed the news in this last week hungry for facts. Hence, I have watched several ABC news broadcasts (my fav in Chitown) and happened upon reporter David Ono. Again, a member of the press has risen valiantly to the occasion and DONE ANYTHING HE COULD TO HELP while still airing poignant segments on the goings on. WALTER WOULD BE PROUD!

And finally,
PITTSBURGH, PA: Those orphans are safe and being taken care of now, many already in new homes! Here's hoping the rest are touched quickly by the incredible compassion of the peeps of PA and their gov! ***TWO HANKIE AWARD

Keep up the good work, kids! America's rooting for you and YOU ARE DOING HER PROUD!

Monday, January 18, 2010

RUSH: You Remind Me of My Sister!















Having spent much of my developmental years in the Land of Naivete (that place right off deNile),I have spent the remaining time studying human behavior and how it affects my everyday life. Nothing on this earth is done WITHOUT some kind of ulterior motivation, I don't care how altruistic you are or WANT TO APPEAR.
That there is a changing of the guard imminent and a major shift in who controls power in this country is now becoming subtly apparent to me. Just not apparent to the parties involved, in my opinion!
Which is what brings us to RUSH judgement! Rush, what up whit dat, bro? ARE YOU KIDDING ME? First, it's PAT and his failure to properly medicate and now you're spouting off about photo ops at disasters? IF you want some insight on that, talk to the Russians and Chinese, brother!
Rush is another one of those guys I left to the Big G a long time ago! When you start spouting venom to gain credibility and free ink, THAT"S WHEN I GO DEAF! Anyone with that many issues has more problems than TEN therapists could fix! What could I possibly do?
I'll tell you what. I'M GONNA TELL YOU LIKE IT IS RUSH, because I've lived with it all my life and know it like the back of my own hand! DON'T PROJECT YOUR AMBITIONS and SHORTCOMINGS ONTO A PERSON MORALLY SUPERIOR JUST BECAUSE YOU ARE JEALOUS AND WILL NEVER BE HIM!
If the Big G really wanted to wreak some vengeance and DO US ALL A FAVOR, he'd shake Rush's butt back to the rock he crawled out from under! ARE WE SICK OF ALL THE OPPORTUNISTS YET? Rush, your ass should be down in Haiti helping these poor people instead of stepping on their broken backs for your own 'glory'!
Yet again, I'll ask, IS ANYBODY REALLY STILL LISTENING, RUSH? I know I'm not! You're lucky The Prez even dignified your hate with ANY reaction! And the only reason you get any airtime is because your Republican buddies bought up the press during the Bush years! Bet you & Bill can't get a word in edgewise during brunch! Good thing, too - he's probably the only one who cares!
So, pack up your old kit bag there, Rush and hit the road to Haiti and DO something good for a change! 'Cuz just between you & me & the Big G: HE KNOWS WHAT YOU"RE UP TO!