HOPE for HAITI NOW Telethon

Just a reminder, folks, the big blowout bash airs tonight! If it's date night, set your DVR's! You don't want to miss this one! And don't forget why the ballers are bangin' AND DONATE!
Trash talk is at the bottom of the can today, where it belongs!

HAITI HOW YA DOINS':

DR. SANJAY GUPTA: I often wonder, when I see the docs on TV, if their only REAL talent is being handsome! NOT SO! Here's a Haiti shout out to Sanjay! Keep up the good work. Defying the aftershocks and worsening conditions, Dr. G is performing tiny miracles in hell.

ADAM LAMBERT: Nice PSA, baby! My FAV Idol runner-up took time out of his busy schedule to give back. There are plenty of places to donate your cash! If you have a fav celeb, feel free to help them help Haiti!

HAITIAN GOV: Yeah! You are relocating 400,000 from the squalid, tremoring streets of Port-Au-Prince and moving them to safety! Sometimes, the Big G DOES listen to my prayers! Thanks!

HOPE FOR HAITI NOW cast of players: We LOVE knocking your foibles and excess. But when push comes to shove, SHOW BIZ always pulls through! We love knowing your hearts are made of pure gold EVEN THOUGH the grills are blinding us!

POTENTIAL DONORS: Here's a hug from the Big G! If you haven't had the time yet, please do so this weekend! The road ahead is long and arduous and the cost will be steep. We need to stay the course and offer these brave people a NEW and BETTER tomorrow! THANK YOU

YESTERDAY'S TRASH:
CONAN gets $45M for NOT working! Take me away, too, Conan!
BANK bailout bubble bursts!
SCOTT BROWN - open mouth, insert foot! Thanks for the early tip-off!
STATE of MICH - Who the hell is the guy that runs Trijicon? PAT?
SUPREME COURT GOES MAD!

P.S. Wish me luck for my AGT audition tomorrow! Full report from the audition line on Sunday!
TOMORROW: Hope for Haiti Now RED CARPET REVIEW!